D.I.D. You See Us Fly?


"Watch out that you don't kill her..." There was silence at the table. "I saw a multiple killed once... Her therapist did it... He wanted to see one 'well-rounded, whole' person. I think the fragmented aspect of MPD scared the hell out of him, especially when he saw things he couldn't comprehend, ideas he couldn't have conceived of himself in a million years." -Chase (139)*

You will be a subject, nailed down as one,
 a subject of the enunciation recoiled 
into a subject of the statement- 
otherwise you're just a tramp.
-Deleuze & Guattari (159)*

There is no "recovery" from the shifting dis/locations of identity dis/order. They can not "cure" us. The complexities of our "condition" elude their mechanistic etiologic frameworks.

They can not medicate our "symptoms" away, for THE (molar) BODY responds differently to every treatment. Our body calculus transforms with every changing of the guard. Differential heights, weights, blood pressures, allergen responses making dosage adjustments obsolete. Our "symptoms" shifting to dis/locate the effectiveness of each medication before a new one can be prescribed.

Nor can they simply intern us in the controlled space of psychiatric wards, fervently hoping that time alone will decrease our "symptomatology." Sucking up insurance money, becoming wards of hospitalized cost-containment. Butting our heads against their need to read us within the constructs of their singular universe.

"Unification" for us has now been decried as a false construct, an impossibility rooted in the strength of our disassociative defenses.In the face of re-traumatization...the dissociative defenses are so efficient that the relapse rate verges on 100 percent. -Kluft (370)*

Thus there is no consensual sense of what constitutes "successful" treatment goals. (How can they read our "functionality" within prescribed "break-down" outside the the realm of the singular subjective space we occupy in their eyes: Patient Name: Kelly, Jennifer A.?)

Some treatment "experts" still seek an enforced "unity" of presentation (Having to at last admit that unity is just that: a representation, faciality, farce). Others define treatment success as suppression of "symptomatology," without having yet arrived at a consensus of what "expressive symptomatology" is/ could mean.

Most define "fusion"/ recovery goals as short-term in duration: 3-6 months.

Fusion has come to mean three stable months of:

1.) continuity of contemporary memory 2.) absence of overt behavioral signs of multiplicity 3.) subjective sense of unity 4.) absence of alter personalities on hypnotic re- exploration 5.) modification of transference phenomena consistent with the bringing together of personalities 6.) clinical evidence that the unified patient's self- representation included acknowledgement of attitudes and awarenesses which were previously segregated in seperate personalities. -Kluft (371)*

To achieve their vision of our "recovery," this "subjective sense of unity," this "absence of overt behavioral signs of multiplicity," it is necessary for us to force ourselves to learn the complex rules of an a/signing game. We must learn to enunciate an "i" that does not/can not exist. We must present a unity and continuity that is only a farcial/partial representation. We must learn to pretend that we have severed all connection with the "other" in ourselves. We must speak in the binarizations of s/he, i/you, without/within.

To resist this a/signification, this mis/representation, is to place ourselves once again beyond their ability to read us within binarized singularities, to place ourselves subject to their enunciation of the Insane.

not i not them we oui